Blog Entries

Setting boundaries: Uninvited guest

I invite you to imagine cleaning your house. You’re busy mopping your floor and not thinking or wanting anything in particular. You just need to finish mopping so you can go on to another chore. Suddenly the doorbell rings. You find it strange because you haven’t invited anyone over and are unaccustomed to having spontaneous visitors.

You open a door to see someone with a mop, bucket, broom, vacuum cleaner and a carpet cleaner. She barges in telling you that your mop is not up to par and that hers is the ideal. While she proceeds to take items one by one into your house she lists all the reasons why hers is the best. She also explains that your mopping technique wasn’t great either and that she can teach you the correct way to mop a floor. She proceeds to take away your mop and use hers on your floor. You have to admit that she isn’t wrong while you see how high tech and efficient her supplies are. Still you are shocked how she somehow barged in and now you have no clue as to usher her out along with all her things. When you try to go onto the next item on the list which is vacuuming she rushes over and scolds you for not using hers. She practically bumps you out the way with her body by elbowing you along with her whole body. After the second lecture she allows you to vacuum. You start to think that she must be right in all her decisions and that you have been doing this whole thing wrong. By the end of the night you are thanking her for barging in your house like she did since you now have a clean house. In fact, now you are cleaning your house in the correct fashion and start to think you owe her. So you give her money. It leaves you confused but you dismiss it.

Okay, so, this scenario is a bit much but it begs to ask you how this relates to boundaries. How often do we allow these types of people to run all over you. Not only that but are convinced that they must be right. Also, have you caught yourself allowing them to have too much space in your life?

I admit I had fear of conflict be the reason why I allowed a breach in my boundaries. I still am working on having strong compassionate boundaries.

Some of the key components to creating boundaries for myself have been consciousness, self compassion, courage and honest communication. Without them the inner balance is thrown out of alignment.

It starts with being aware that you have allowed someone or yourself to cross a line that you didn’t want crossed. It could be that you ate that high calorie and sugary snack instead of the healthy option one day. So, you had trampled on a boundary towards yourself when it came to being healthy. It could be allowing someone to talk longer than you feel comfortable for fear of rejection. You may be afraid of coming off as rude and insensitive if you had set a limit. The awareness of being in a compromised position is needed in order to create better boundaries.

When a boundary has been disrupted I have to remind myself to be compassionate with myself. I have another day to practice my skills in compassion and honoring my wishes.

Whenever I am creating a boundary it’s scary. It’s scary to think that I may lose someone’s favor by standing up for myself and letting them know that it’s not okay with me. I don’t think many people like being viewed negatively. Also some people may conclude that you are not the same person that they knew. Yes, you may be mistaken for a mean person by setting a boundary. It’s a risk but well worth the risk for your wellbeing. When you have practiced you are in a sense a different person. The confidence in setting them and sticking to them has grown. Insecurities are replaced by confidence and strength.

Honest communication. It takes guts to be honest. It’s not easy. However, if you are dishonest with yourself and others then you are robbing yourself and others of seeing the truth of what you want and who you are. For example, if I don’t set a boundary with someone dear to me than I’m robbing them of an opportunity to treat me better and getting to know my preferences. Let’s say I agree to go to a certain movie with someone that is scary and suspenseful. Those aren’t my types of movies but I go to be friendly and nice to this person. After the movie I feel traumatized and I don’t let this person know. They don’t have a firm grasp of how I’m a gentle soul and avoid fear based movies. That I enjoy peace, beauty and laughter. I rob us of a potential enjoyable evening by possibly seeing a different movie. This really happened with an ex boyfriend of mine. I realized we could have created a better memory if I had the courage to speak up. It doesn’t have to take massive amount of effort to say no. However, back then it did. In fact, now that I think about it. It took more energy to accommodate him than it did to simply say no to the movie. If you’re curious the movie was “The Saw” and I am ashamed to have watched it. I don’t like even feeling connected to such a low vibration. Fear is one of the lowest vibrations out there. Fear is a subject for another blog.

There is video I would like to list at the end of this entry if you are interested in learning more. It’s a YouTube video by Terri Cole that has a very similar flavor to my foundation of drawing boundaries. It was partly inspired by her but also my foundation has been tested and proved to be effective in my life. So, I encourage you to explore how you set the stage for boundaries in your life. I hope to hear from you and see boundaries through your eyes.

I wish you all the best in your journey to more self love in the form of setting boundaries and sticking to them.

With much Love,

Raven Reina

“Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.”

Reina

Terri Cole’s YouTube Video. She has great resources on your channel as well as your website. She is also on Facebook and Instagram. She speaks to my soul and has helped me grow stronger in setting limits in order to create more self love. Enjoy.


Surrendering to Healing

“When we give ourselves the chance to let go of all our tension, the body’s natural capacity to heal itself can begin to work.”

Nhat Hanh
Sweet surrender to the surrounding. Grounding. White flag. Surrender to peace.

Featured Music:

Currently listening to:

“Sweet Surrender” by Sarah McLachlan.

Followed by “White Flag” by Dido.

Wrapped up with “Surrender” & “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” by Hillsong United.

Highlighted person:

Esther Perel psychologist. Her main focus is couples therapy concerning sexuality and fidelity alongside building healthy family relationships.

Healing in Love

Healing takes so much time. The process is ever evolving and repetitive. Like a spiral that goes upwards. A constant revisiting of lessons with each passing round. Skills become more in tune. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. We have the capability to heal if we only call it forth. We have the ability to let go if we just surrender to it. Today’s word and image is surrender & white flag. We can find surrender in any situation in our lives. Surrender can look differently for each person and at different points in our lives.

In my own experience I have come down to some key elements that take on the need for healing. First off is fear, anger, anxiety, and followed by depression. The release from fear,anger, anxiety, and depression and into higher vibrational experiences first starts with surrender. It could take a millisecond or decades. The choice I know is up to me. I know and am experiencing the co-creation of the world as we know it with the Creator. Having others to help me see it is a key. So, the lower vibrations. What are the remedies? Ultimately it’s Love. The offshoots of love as an antidote for myself is joy,compassion,faith,and love. When I’m fearful I know joy is the expression of faith in the life force within and around. That is a form of letting go. Embracing joy. Compassion assists in soothing anger. If I’m compassionate towards my anger and the anger of others then it leads to healing. Faith. Faith helps me see what I can’t sense. Creator knows all and I don’t. I have to have faith in the unseen and know that all is in order and all is being experienced for the Highest Good. An orderly chaos if you will. laughs. At last Love. Breathes in a sigh of relief. Love. It’s the center point of it all. Need I say more? For that alone covers all and that alone is All. I AM that I AM. The Zero point energy field. The neutrality. That space. The experiencer. It’s beyond anything and yet it’s so close. It connects everything. It is everything. It’s source. The Divine…

With that connection and note I will close even though I want to say more. For some subjects just need to be lightly touched upon. I encourage you to ponder surrender and healing. For Love is beyond anything we can imagine. I hope you choose Love and the healing that is there for you in every moment.

Love,

Reina “Raven”

May your journey be Light.

Remember, it’s a beautiful world, take a closer look, open up your heart and trust.

Reina “Raven”
Divinely guided in passion & purity

Additional Materials:

Video of Esther Perel with her Red Table Talk and Ted Talk.

Red Table Talk featuring Esther Perel on Facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2054233974879798

Ted Talk on You Tube featuring Esther Perel.

https://binged.it/2JwmOWi

Multifaceted & Running on the Rim

“We are multifaceted like diamonds.”

Years ago while I was sitting in my counselor’s office I had been torn. Split. I couldn’t see myself making any decisions & I felt paralyzed by this world. My black and white thinking was going into overdrive and my fear was suffocating me. Feeling loyalty to one and disloyal to the other when it came to making decisions. I couldn’t be at peace knowing one choice would outweigh the other so it seemed. The balance seemed off. I had no way of knowing how to rebalance myself.

“Don’t be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous.”

Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

One statement that woke me up from my pain was when she said, “We are multifaceted like a diamond.” I will not forget these wise words. The more I reflect on this statement I am learning to try to look at situations, myself, and others with a more diverse peaceful perspective. Gathering all the information I can along side knowing there will be blind spots. It gives me a sense of joy ,compassion and peace knowing that I an coexist with seemingly paradoxical aspects within. It’s almost like I can hop onto different colors from a crystal facet with little or no time in between. It’s fluid. One decision doesn’t necessarily cheapen the other decision. It simply is. It’s the best decision I could have made in that situation. I chose that particular path and timeline for my highest good all the while having my Higher Self guiding me. It’s my personal belief my Higher Self is connected to Jesus who is my Way Shower and Savior. Will I get to my destination? Of course. The destination is always Love (God). Sounds so simple yet the mind can be a master trickster sending me onto wild goose chases down unnecessary long paths. The paths seem to take on the image of resistance, doubt, fear, dissatisfaction, overcontrol, manipulation, and overcomplicating/overthinking. When I breathe in Source energy that takes the form of Light/Truth/Love then I’m anchored back into the only reality. The reality of unity. The reality of Love. The simplicity and peace. My soul is freed and renewed by knowing it’s held by it’s Creator.

“Eventually, you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is. The journey may take many lifetimes, but you will complete it. It is impossible not to complete it. It is not a question of if but of when. Every situation you create serves this purpose. Every experience you encounter serves this purpose.”

Gary Zukav

I find the more and more I journey within myself I notice the need for the unity of my Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine for balance. On my exterior I display that highest intention by having cultural masculine aspects in my fashion and hairstyle. I balance that with cultural feminine qualities with jewelry and makeup. It’s an outer prayer for these two to merge. Most days I’m running on the rim of a coin. The adage goes, “There’s always two sides to every coin.” I politely and passionately disagree. I live on the rim and run on that. For, it’s not impossible for a coin to move on it’s rim. It can balance the two sides as long as it keeps moving in one respect. The only force capable of keeping me running on the rim of balance is God/Love.

Keep running dear souls. We are One. We are held.

Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.

Rabindranath Tagore

Much Love,

Reina “Raven”

Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.

Reina “Raven”

Creation & Healing

“You can’t rush your healing”

Song by Trevor Hall

(Thank you Big Brother Seth for introducing me to this song.)

The inspiring words that I channeled in my first YouTube video is still a constant reminder to myself and others.

“Remember it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.”

-Reina “Raven”

So many times the mind likes to twist and turn and make things out more than they ought to be. Now days I’m better equipped to handle what triggers may arise. I know to rush to the page and express. I know to bring out my paints and express that way. If none of these are handy I breathe. Sometimes others see the stress and remind me of the breath work I need to be doing. I see myself reflected in so many people. Sometimes when it comes to movies and plays I can see myself in the entire darn cast. Ha ha. There goes a writer and artist for ya.

Dreaming is my friend and not a complete check out. Sure, it’s a nice retreat but I remember the days when I would hug my cat Smoochie tight and let the world spin without me. In the past I would know better but it was as if I couldn’t help myself. Today after church I took a nap. I knew last night that I didn’t have enough sleep but I was restless and sleep seemed impossible. I did get a few hours but just a few. By the time I was done with church I knew to put myself down for a nap. In fact, I see myself as a child most of the time. Childlike and hopefully not childish. I can see my husband and I keeping it together as best we can. Sometimes when being myself and expressing by talking I can see his tolerance paired with anxiety. Yes, we will make it through the storm. It’s like a stab to the heart when I see that one look and the holding back. I can tell resentment is building or at the very least exasperation. I know the feeling well. I know everyone is entitled to their own feelings. When it comes to someone you love it feels as if someone just stabbed you in the heart. It even happens with coworkers and friends. Not to that intensity but it sure does hurt. I blame myself for feeling. I blame myself for my sensitivity. I know in my mind that it’s a gift. That this is much needed Light and Love in the world. I know God made me this way for a very specific reason. However, this shadow work or “Spiritual Homework” isn’t pleasant. In fact, it’s the poops. I know poop makes good fertilizer to the flowers that I grow. So, for every season there is a reason, right?

Enough babbling. What I’m trying to convey is that having the gift of empathy and sensitivity can sometimes kick into over drive. The triggers that are like trucks just side swiping me off the road I was on. It seems unreasonable and a huge blockage. Behind every blockage I know wrapped into it is the blessing. I’m the kind of person that has an active mind and a deeply feeling heart. I’m also creative and have kind of like an ADHD personality. Whether that is technically true it doesn’t matter. I light candles to keep the soul’s flame lit. I light candles for anyone who needs hope.

Hope is an ingredient to life. I wish more people would give it credit. This week I was faced with revisiting old wounds. On Friday, I believe if memory serves me correctly—the day I got the instant message. A friend of mine had unknowingly asked about a friend that had died in 2015. I had to take a step in my courage and growth to tell my friend of the suicide. My dear friend, Marilyn,back in 2015 died of suicide. I knew it was the disease that took her. I also had to deal with my own suicide attempt because of the guilt and shame I had surrounding my not so wise decisions. I thought dying would be the price to pay like in old Jewish law. I couldn’t see my way out of the darkness at the time. Luckily, others held space for me. Luckily, the Creator held space for me. I was carried. Jesus my Way Shower, Savior, Big Brother and —–the ultimate hippie bad ass healer in my opinion was there the whole time. Lol. Mother Mary was there the whole time. My Holy Father was there the whole time. My husband was there the whole time. My cats were there the whole time. My family and friends were there the whole time. I took for granted their love and support. I had to learn self love. I had to learn radical forgiveness. I had to learn to let go of everything. To be honest, I’m relearning these lessons revisiting Marilyn’s death and my suicidal ideation. To top it off I found out my big sister and unofficial mentor, Alesha,lost her first husband to suicide the following Friday. So, the last workday of the last week I was hit with old wounds. Then on Friday I was hit with the grief of my friend losing her 1st husband. No one and nothing is against you. Everything is for you. Yes, I had to relearn the value of life and the drive to keep going.

This week I cried to my boss to be completely honest. Before talking to my boss I had listened to music by my locker. I ate icecream in the only retreatable place–the bathroom. I cried on the bathroom floor. Picked myself up. With sunglasses on I sat by a tree and let Mother Earth aka Gaia sooth me. I had to tell my boss that I’m going to be seeing a therapist and at the risk of seeming incompetent let her know I was unsure about being able to go back to the floor helping patients that day. She is a wonderful soul. She intuitively knew to let me rest and the next day I was back and ready to work. This week I haven’t been much fun for my husband because of my shadow work. This week I grieve with a friend for her beloved first husband. This week I have been barely hanging on. However, here is the good news. It’s a brand new week! We have our whole lives to appreciate life and it’s many things to offer. You know what I value the most? Love. Inner and outer light. The sun’s rays against my face. The Love I know is all around me even when I can’t feel it or see it all the time. I know it’s there.

Stay strong my dear beautiful souls. We all are just traveling through this universe of universes.

Much Love, Light, and Hope,

Reina “Raven”

I love life! Yes, I do. It may be poopy sometimes but flowers are sure to bloom.
Please, share this with anyone that may need it. We all are One heart. We are One Collective. Let’s encourage eachother to Live,Love, and Hope.

Captain of my own ship


Living beyond the external.

Hello my friends,

It’s been a while since I’ve put my thoughts down on virtual paper. The subject is sovereignty. Today I witnessed a conflict. It seemed like it could easily escalate. Before escalation I decided to act. In good faith I called the local authorities. My hope is that this family heals and repairs the broken communication and relating to each other. This is putting it mildly. I hope the situation itself is mild. My fear is that harm would be done. I stood up for this little one. On the outer it looks like this little one may be on the receiving end of abuse. However, I don’t know the situation and it may have very well been tempers that were lost in every position. The child was screaming as well as well as the two adults. Whatever the case my hope and prayer is that things will be healed and repaired. It’s hard to know exactly what to do in any given situation in order to serve the Highest Good. What I mean by Highest Good is basically Love. For me, God is Love. Source. So, whatever is in alignment with the Light of Love. The truth of Love. Love itself. To me this word is such a slippery thing. We can be aware of it but to actually know it is open to interpretation.

After that incident I started thinking about our personal sovereignty. What we allow in our lives. So much that is external conditions us to allow a lot of what we truly don’t want. Fear and other unhealthy attachments can cloud our clarity and give us these bizarre reasons not to act in our and others highest interests. So, this is the thought and question of the day. What are you doing to claim your sovereignty in the aim of the Highest Good?

Thank you my friends for reading. Take care.

Love, Light, and Truth,

Reina aka Raven Reina

Cooking: The process of unknowns

Today I had dived into cooking an anti-inflammatory recipe. Why? Do you ask. Physically speaking I have a thyroid disorder and I thought eating this way may help. I have been meditating for several years. One way for me of meditating is doing the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 21 day Meditations. Deepak Chopra being an Endocrinologist had suggested in one of his meditations the benefits of anti-inflammatory foods. That had sparked my interests. I’ll list the link below for the most current (at this time) 21 day mediation. It has helped me so much in my growth. I have been working on mindfulness for more than a decade. For at the least two to three years I have been going beyond mindfulness and meditation and started the process of journeying. From my perspective and what I have learned so far is that journeying is meditating with a very specific goal in mind to access your higher self and guides. It may not be for everyone but it is for me. I have always been drawn to Shamanism and the depths—the belly if you will of God. Now, this is just one perspective on such a broad thing. Just like cooking spirituality has so many flavors and styles. With tastes and flavors it still accomplishes one thing. To be fed. To be the fuel.

From past experience I knew not to rush ahead and grab the ingredients and start. I read and reread the directions. Even during cooking I had to backtrack and see if what I read was correct. I was adding spices and cooking the meat. While mixing things together and trying to time things just right I kept wondering how it would turn out. In the past my anxiety would spike and I would be flattened out with this overwhelming sense of deficiency. In fact, I had cried while trying to measure because I wasn’t measuring up in my own eyes. I had thought I didn’t measure up in my husband’s eyes. I had thought how stupid I am that I can’t even cook for him. It became a spiral downward. I noticed that I wasn’t spiraling today. In fact, I kept on making magic with food. It awakened me to the notion that over the months and years I have become stronger. I kept on following the directions despite my apprehension. I wasn’t focused on how horrible I was. I was focused on the food and the process.

I have chosen not to have children. My two female cats are my children. I joked with them how popular I became once I brought out the chicken. The cat I have had longer is the most vocal. She had hopped on the chair pleading to have a bite. I reassured her that I would cook a plain portion of chicken just for them. I instantly thought how it’s kind of like heaven in my eyes. There is abundance to be had but it has to be filtered and processed before it can arrive. The order is in. My girls had to wait for their food. How often do we as humans plead when the Universe is cooking us up exactly what we want. (Or at least as close to it as possible.)

Some of you may be wondering how my dish turned out. Well, my Chicken Tika Masala with chickpeas tasted very good. However, I could have cooked the chickpeas longer. That was the only drawback. Instead of focusing how it wasn’t right. I just turned it around still acknowledging the error. I thought to myself how it added texture and crunch. It wasn’t all that bad. The beautiful thing about my husband is that he without missing an opportunity hugs me after every meal I cook. It doesn’t matter how fancy or ordinary. He knows a hug means so much. He knows holding me is practically like saving me and holding me together. That way of thanks creates a feeling of appreciation to me. Being acknowledged that way keeps me soaring. I am my own cheerleader of course but it’s nice to know that my partner in life appreciates all the effort that is put into presenting the fuel for our bodies. It’s also nice to know that Holy Spirit fuels us as well. Holy Spirit listens to us and delivers what we need and want. In fact, I was reflecting on the gratitude in my heart for the abundance of blessings I’m bestowed on a daily basis while walking to my car after work.

Remember, that we live in a beautiful world, take a closer look, open up your heart and trust.

Blessings,

Reina “Raven”

References & Links:

Book: Clean Cuisine Cookbook: 130+ Anti-Inflammatory Recipes to Heal your Gut, Treat Autoimmune Conditions, and Optimize Your Health by Ivy Ingram Larson & Andrew Larson MD

  • I apologize for not being able to underline the book. I have yet to learn now to use all the features here.

Link to Deepak’s 21 Day Meditation: https://chopracentermeditation.com/?_ga=2.156257339.1289427273.1551417248-711756256.1551417248&sso_code=eyJpdiI6IjVaMG9kQlVPOEcxdTNSeStwR2JqdHc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiU0wxXC91blwvNUZtQmZHUzRHZForWEZTejlYemtpbEZoNjRSWFM0ZzNBaDNOeEZHbGtxR0VYRWhMdHQyNHd6SEdta1VZc3pYSUlieWM3RmN0OCszSXc5QTdOTk83d3FqUEJ2VHBwejhFN3lxbz0iLCJtYWMiOiJmMzgyYmFiN2FlOWUyNzIwZTA0OTczM2FlNDAyMjY1MTNhZDBlYWQzYWJmOTFmZGNhYTcwMTlkMzlmOGU2NTIyIn0%3D

The written word & capturing the essence of life

“If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

Toni Morrison

  There are times I fantasize about a world where we can just telepathically know the essence of what someone is conveying to us. In some respects we do have that. Heartfelt intuition. However, the majority of our time at least for me it’s all the best possible guess.  To truly  see and know someone is rare especially when the knowing and seeing of self is a challenge. 

  Thankfully with technology we have the capability to silently have melding of the minds and hearts.  Texting, instant messaging, sharing posts etc. The fault in written word is that sometimes you can’t hear the tone.  Sound is so vitally important as well.  As much as I crave peace and quiet in a very loud and chaotic world at times. Sound and vibration may have been around first. If you align with the Bible then you know God spoke. The Creator of all started with sound. It brought me to the idea of a fetus and a newborn baby.  Essence and space is the majority as far as I have learned and like to accept. After a while the world conditions and a personality and life lessons start to mold the individual.

  Babies feel first. We are in the body and that is all we know. Conscious thought emerge. Then our dance with the world around us starts.

To be able to record and capture all this with words and pair it with sound when read out loud is a blessing.  The continual journey to be able to zoom into life and express it helps me dream and reach for the stars.

Blessings,

Reina “Raven”