Blog Entries

Daily Inkling: Writer’s Room

August 20th’s Daily Inkling’s writing challenge:

“Writer’s Room”
As a writer, is there a particular room where you live that inspires your best work?

https://normalhappenings.com/2019/08/20/writers-room-daily-inkling/#more-10036

This one is a hard one to choose. I have so many rooms in my house that I adore. I’m learning to appreciate my home office more. It’s currently under construction so the atmosphere for writing isn’t complete. I have a feeling it will soon be the best place for me to write. It just makes sense. My desk is here and it’s the most convenient and practical place. However, is it my favorite? Right now, not yet. So, where is my favorite room to write in? I’m a coffee and tea type of girl. I love waking up and having some coffee and the next best thing I like to do in the mornings is write. As tempting as it is to say it’s the meditation room because it’s so peaceful and pretty I’m going to choose the dining room. Why? That’s where we have our (my husband and I) own little café. There I can write on the dining room table surrounded by various containers of tea and coffee. I love feeling like a witch of sorts when I see mason jars and tea bins with neatly printed labels on them. As if I can just jump into making something with my intentions and will through the medium of tea leaves and coffee beans. That’s when my senses perk up and the creative juices start to flow. So, it’s a win for the dining room/café room.

Now, dear reader, I beg to ask you the same question. Where in your living quarters do you like to write? Which room and why?

Thank you Daily Inkling (https://normalhappenings.com/2019/08/01/the-return-daily-inkling/) for providing the prompt for writing since this gal is a bit rusty and now has come back out of hiding from her cave like a hibernating bear. This bear is out of the cave and ready to explore.

Love,

Reina “Raven”

Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look, open up your heart, and trust.”

Reina “Raven” @ravenreina & @ravenreinawrites on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/RavenReinaWrites/

Leading from healing instead of hurting

Okay, this quote is a bit on the snarky side but it does hit home in many many many respects. The general consensus when talking to people and myself is that the dating scene SUCKS! Yes, it sucks. Why? The unknown. How much I fight against the unknown. Not so much as in the past but darn it. How are we supposed to know how the one you plan on seriously having a relationship with won’t hurt you? We don’t and the truth is they will. Yes, even unintentionally. We come back to our childhoods whether we like it or not. It’s almost as if the Universe is saying, “I’m going to reflect some serious shit to you. You have work to do. Get your shit together.” Did you think it was going to be gentle or easy? Nope. It can bring you to your knees. It’s exactly the point.

Without hardship there would be no reward but it doesn’t mean in ANY WAY to tolerate abuse. I repeat. You do not need to stay with an abuser or be the abuser. Basically, know your worth darn it and step it up. I say this in the most gentle and strongest tone. It’s hard to see when you’re in it. There have been times where I have abused myself and others without even realizing I was doing it. I was so wrong. Dead wrong. Fucking wrong. Yes, I’ll admit that I wasn’t the nicest person. In fact, in my self righteous and passionate but skewed view was causing havoc. Total havoc.

Now this is where the sweet song of unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness comes in. I digress. We are talking about dating.

I’ve been walking around having a deeper understanding of having compassion. Not only for others but also for myself. Once I start to see people as mirrors, brothers and sisters, and as a collective I start to ease up and see things in a more peaceful way. Big sigh. It settles everything. The blockages are released in my body and my soul starts to sing. I start to lead from a place of love and healing. Once that is activated it’s only natural to give it away to others. To treat myself well sings a song of praise to Creator that I am grateful. To treat others well means that I see Creator’s masterpiece. So, once I start to lose the attitude and start living from gratitude I see things in some many layers and in deeper levels. My intention behind this entry is to show that leading from healing and love can recover the pain and wrongs of the past. It is possible my friends. For me, it’s an ongoing process.

My only take on dating is to be true to yourself and to the one you may pursue. It start with yourself and then you can radiate that to your beloved. All my well wishes to you on the dating scene if you’re single and looking. If you are in a relationship I wish you the best as well. It’s ongoing no matter what the status.

Love and Light and Truth,

Reina “Raven”

Speed blogging today. Please be forgiving when reading this.

Psalm 23:4

In times of turbulence I tend to turn to my faith. I know for some it doesn’t seem natural. In fact, it’s hard to see a loved one struggling and they do not mention Creator at all when talking about their struggles. I listen and try not to preach. I have to say I’m good at preaching. Maybe because I need that type of encouragement. Whether or not they turn to a Higher power support is always needed. This Sunday my pastor mentioned Psalm 23. I focused on the fourth verse because it jumped out to me. I remembered a song quoting it. How it comforts and supports me. Knowing that my guide in Jesus can help me go in the direction of my best interest but also protect me along the way is of great relief. Just knowing I’m protected frees me up to persue what God wills me to.

I count myself fortunate that my dark days have passed for the most part. The demons I have encountered recently are no where near as menacing as the demons of the past. Knowing Creator is watching and sending Archangels and angels to fight for me is also of great help. The greatest battle was won by Christ. I’m so thankful for that.

My hope for you is that brighter and lighter days are ahead of you. If you struggle know that you have many seen and unseen heroes standing along side you. Know that you are loved.

It’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look, open up your heart and trust.

Much Love, Light, Truth in Christ,

Raven Reina

Longing for Heaven

There is a sweet subtle longing for heaven within me. Where I can spread my wings and shine,sing, vibrate to the highest possible frequency surrounding God. At times I feel like my true home is surrounding God. Sometimes being here on this earth heartbreakingly beautiful and the experience is worth it’s weight in gold. I know that this is a gift from Creator. I am learning to experience everything to the fullest and not look back or forward. To be in the now. It’s a meditative practice. Most of the time I’m searching how to clear my energy,surround myself with Divine Golden/White Light and to be closer to heaven. In my spare time I imagine the possibilities of my Soul Mission. I ask and hope that I can follow through on God’s nudgings. It’s so silent and undemanding at times. It’s hard to tell if it’s really Creator. Almost like a lover who plays hide and go seek. My heart flowers at the thought of Him playfully encouraging me to grow and to experience this lifetime. This morning I just have this contentement but also this longing. I want to love Love fully. So, with this in mind I will leave you with a few things to take with you during your day.

Verse of the day. (Above)
Reading (Below)
Insight: General idea is that you are guided and are and will be successful in your endeavors that are Divinely directed. Enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I can breakdown the reading further later. This was a quick morning blog post. Let me know if you’d like a more detailed description.
Stone. Amethyst I think.

Teaching me how to nurture & love

When I met her I was still overcoming my more pronounced insecurities. I also was dealing with rage and over-control. I had turned to it in order to compensate for lack of self-love. She quickly picked up on my struggle and wasn’t afraid of me. In fact, she did what she wanted. She would keep her eyes glued to you and it was almost like her soul said, ” I’m doing things my way. I also will be here for you no matter what. I’m one strong soul and don’t you ever forget it, honey.” Boy, was she! It took two years to really get to know her. The girl could eat! My type of lady. I love to eat too. However, her gut had other plans. Despite medications and the special diet she was on she still wasn’t successful in gaining weight. It was hard to see her not find the nourishment her body needed to fully do what it was made to do. I often times wonder how magnificent she would have looked if she hadn’t had the condition. She would have been glorious. Unfortunately, the girl was one of those girls that just was skin and bones practically. A walking skeleton. However, you couldn’t tell that she had been struggling so hard. Her spirit was so joyful and warm. Her resiliency is something to be admired and praised. How that lady jumped right back in after upsetting circumstances I think should be considered saint-like. She didn’t hesitate to make you feel wanted and her in your face “I’m here. You can’t ignore me” attitude was not subtle in the slightest. It’s a mixture of blatancy paired with the loving light touch. Thinking about that warms my heart and makes me smile. She was a class all her own and what a lady. I admire her authenticity and how she had a way of being her strong self and unapologetic. Her self assurance but gentle spirit is a quality I would like for myself. She taught me to be more nurturing and that my strength wasn’t through any kind of force. Not by trying to manipulate the situations as benign as I may seem. She could see right through them. Without missing any beats she knew when to jump in if I needed to give warmth and security. She also knew how to just walk off without saying a word but loudly saying, “Fuck you, I’m upset.” Laughs. She was great. She always came back after being angry. I honor her in this writing. She was definitely an angel in disguise. I wish I could have seen her full beauty. Not emaciated. Not throwing up everything she ate despite her voraciously eating food. By no fault of her own but her body simply giving out. You may wonder who she is. Well, she was one of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I briefly got to be her mother. Her meows in the kitchen every morning and the way she was unmistakenly herself will be missed. I had to make a compassionate decision to end her suffering yesterday. I thank God my husband and mother were there in the vet’s office to help me say goodbye. I thank my best friend who made sure to come over and help me have fun. By fun it was talking, playing video games, and watching “Finding Nemo” while having snacks. I am determined to go about life as normal. I am going to laugh and be joyful despite the grief. I’m going to focus on the abundance. Her sister is still with me. I cherish that my princess is okay and seems to be well despite the vacancy in our lives. In fact, my princess doesn’t seem to be too bothered. She just does her thing and so will I.

Focusing on the good

       It’s hard to let go of a friendship that had endured the test of time. It’s especially difficult when perhaps the reason for the dissolving of it could have been prevented if forgiveness was a focus. This friend had a way of getting me out of my shell and out having fun. She has an outgoing spirit and is a friend to everyone practically. When on her Facebook I noticed that she has many mutual friends that I have or seemingly random people that I know that is also connected to her. I guess you could say she was the popular girl that I was grateful befriended me. However, I have had a wound that was partially self-inflicted. Her popularity unconsciously had me hold onto a false belief that I wasn’t worthy of her time and attention. In the past, I have seen her have friends come and go. It was extremely painful to be dismissed for new friends. Friends that I knew brought many problems with them.

       I could see how one was manipulative and had a victim mentality. I had tried to befriend her and even sent her to a therapist for help only to see her spiral downward. The other found her value in pursuing people solely for her pleasure. She was a taker. Both were toxic and it had colored my reality for many years. I’m sure they did that to her too. Most likely to the extreme. Now that I’m older and can see clearly how unhealthy those relationships were. I was fairly smart about staying away from these women but now that I can discern more I think I would have avoided them all together even if it meant the cost of my friendship with her at the time. Knowing how my friend handled things I know she would have made time for me even if I chose not to associate myself with those two women. At any rate, the so-called damage was done. I had developed a sort of complex. One that had me believing that I was insufficient. I wasn’t beautiful enough. I felt like the ugly friend. I also thought that because she didn’t socialize with me often that I was unworthy. Also, I must be boring to her since she didn’t seem to want to spend time with me. This being tested and proven. When asking her to have a short outing for coffee I would see on social media that she would socialize with those two women instead. A huge blow to my ego. So, with the accumulation of these experiences it didn’t lend itself to a good self image.

So now I’m taking responsibility for my insecurities, my unhealed wounds, and my words that had leaked out all that I had been struggling with for years. My head knows what to do in this situation but my heart has some catching up to do. The good news is that I have caught up for the most part. I have done activities that help promote healing. I have talked to a close friend that is non-judgemental and forgiving. To be able to express my frustration, loss and depression. The first few weeks of knowing that the friendship had indeed been lost were extremely hard. My husband was and continues to be a constant support. The first week I had let him know that I would be sad and not doing much. I had warned him that I would be taking a nap which basically meant that I would be going to bed early. I also warned him that I would have a glass of wine beside me. I basically had a glass of wine for several days and I also slept more than usual. After the first few weeks I had gotten back to sleeping normally and not wanting to feel like I wanted to cry all the time. In fact, I did cry one night over it. (I also stopped the daily glass of wine.) After feeling sorry for myself I got out. I went to a gathering of friends and made sure to bring my husband along. I also reunited with an old friend.

Focusing on happiness and the abundance that I already have. Basically focusing on the good. It has helped deepen my sense of gratitude. It also opened up my eyes more that along the path some friends will disappear from my reality for specific reasons. What those reasons are I may or may not know. All I know is that I have to let go in order to move forward. So, little by little I am growing and healing. I am accepting what is and knowing that I have good friends. I have enough. I am enough. I am worthy of true friendships. Friendships based on love, forgiveness, and full acceptance. I also know I can give that to my friends as well. So, I encourage anyone going through a fall out to reach out in self love and to focus on the abundance that is already in your life. Sometimes all we need is just one good friend. That friend in dark times can be yourself. Much Love and Light, Reina “Raven”

Setting boundaries: Uninvited guest

I invite you to imagine cleaning your house. You’re busy mopping your floor and not thinking or wanting anything in particular. You just need to finish mopping so you can go on to another chore. Suddenly the doorbell rings. You find it strange because you haven’t invited anyone over and are unaccustomed to having spontaneous visitors.

You open a door to see someone with a mop, bucket, broom, vacuum cleaner and a carpet cleaner. She barges in telling you that your mop is not up to par and that hers is the ideal. While she proceeds to take items one by one into your house she lists all the reasons why hers is the best. She also explains that your mopping technique wasn’t great either and that she can teach you the correct way to mop a floor. She proceeds to take away your mop and use hers on your floor. You have to admit that she isn’t wrong while you see how high tech and efficient her supplies are. Still you are shocked how she somehow barged in and now you have no clue as to usher her out along with all her things. When you try to go onto the next item on the list which is vacuuming she rushes over and scolds you for not using hers. She practically bumps you out the way with her body by elbowing you along with her whole body. After the second lecture she allows you to vacuum. You start to think that she must be right in all her decisions and that you have been doing this whole thing wrong. By the end of the night you are thanking her for barging in your house like she did since you now have a clean house. In fact, now you are cleaning your house in the correct fashion and start to think you owe her. So you give her money. It leaves you confused but you dismiss it.

Okay, so, this scenario is a bit much but it begs to ask you how this relates to boundaries. How often do we allow these types of people to run all over you. Not only that but are convinced that they must be right. Also, have you caught yourself allowing them to have too much space in your life?

I admit I had fear of conflict be the reason why I allowed a breach in my boundaries. I still am working on having strong compassionate boundaries.

Some of the key components to creating boundaries for myself have been consciousness, self compassion, courage and honest communication. Without them the inner balance is thrown out of alignment.

It starts with being aware that you have allowed someone or yourself to cross a line that you didn’t want crossed. It could be that you ate that high calorie and sugary snack instead of the healthy option one day. So, you had trampled on a boundary towards yourself when it came to being healthy. It could be allowing someone to talk longer than you feel comfortable for fear of rejection. You may be afraid of coming off as rude and insensitive if you had set a limit. The awareness of being in a compromised position is needed in order to create better boundaries.

When a boundary has been disrupted I have to remind myself to be compassionate with myself. I have another day to practice my skills in compassion and honoring my wishes.

Whenever I am creating a boundary it’s scary. It’s scary to think that I may lose someone’s favor by standing up for myself and letting them know that it’s not okay with me. I don’t think many people like being viewed negatively. Also some people may conclude that you are not the same person that they knew. Yes, you may be mistaken for a mean person by setting a boundary. It’s a risk but well worth the risk for your wellbeing. When you have practiced you are in a sense a different person. The confidence in setting them and sticking to them has grown. Insecurities are replaced by confidence and strength.

Honest communication. It takes guts to be honest. It’s not easy. However, if you are dishonest with yourself and others then you are robbing yourself and others of seeing the truth of what you want and who you are. For example, if I don’t set a boundary with someone dear to me than I’m robbing them of an opportunity to treat me better and getting to know my preferences. Let’s say I agree to go to a certain movie with someone that is scary and suspenseful. Those aren’t my types of movies but I go to be friendly and nice to this person. After the movie I feel traumatized and I don’t let this person know. They don’t have a firm grasp of how I’m a gentle soul and avoid fear based movies. That I enjoy peace, beauty and laughter. I rob us of a potential enjoyable evening by possibly seeing a different movie. This really happened with an ex boyfriend of mine. I realized we could have created a better memory if I had the courage to speak up. It doesn’t have to take massive amount of effort to say no. However, back then it did. In fact, now that I think about it. It took more energy to accommodate him than it did to simply say no to the movie. If you’re curious the movie was “The Saw” and I am ashamed to have watched it. I don’t like even feeling connected to such a low vibration. Fear is one of the lowest vibrations out there. Fear is a subject for another blog.

There is video I would like to list at the end of this entry if you are interested in learning more. It’s a YouTube video by Terri Cole that has a very similar flavor to my foundation of drawing boundaries. It was partly inspired by her but also my foundation has been tested and proved to be effective in my life. So, I encourage you to explore how you set the stage for boundaries in your life. I hope to hear from you and see boundaries through your eyes.

I wish you all the best in your journey to more self love in the form of setting boundaries and sticking to them.

With much Love,

Raven Reina

“Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.”

Reina

Terri Cole’s YouTube Video. She has great resources on your channel as well as your website. She is also on Facebook and Instagram. She speaks to my soul and has helped me grow stronger in setting limits in order to create more self love. Enjoy.