Years ago while I was sitting in my counselor’s office I had been torn. Split. I couldn’t see myself making any decisions & I felt paralyzed by this world. My black and white thinking was going into overdrive and my fear was suffocating me. Feeling loyalty to one and disloyal to the other when it came to making decisions. I couldn’t be at peace knowing one choice would outweigh the other so it seemed. The balance seemed off. I had no way of knowing how to rebalance myself.
“Don’t be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous.”
Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan
One statement that woke me up from my pain was when she said, “We are multifaceted like a diamond.” I will not forget these wise words. The more I reflect on this statement I am learning to try to look at situations, myself, and others with a more diverse peaceful perspective. Gathering all the information I can along side knowing there will be blind spots. It gives me a sense of joy ,compassion and peace knowing that I an coexist with seemingly paradoxical aspects within. It’s almost like I can hop onto different colors from a crystal facet with little or no time in between. It’s fluid. One decision doesn’t necessarily cheapen the other decision. It simply is. It’s the best decision I could have made in that situation. I chose that particular path and timeline for my highest good all the while having my Higher Self guiding me. It’s my personal belief my Higher Self is connected to Jesus who is my Way Shower and Savior. Will I get to my destination? Of course. The destination is always Love (God). Sounds so simple yet the mind can be a master trickster sending me onto wild goose chases down unnecessary long paths. The paths seem to take on the image of resistance, doubt, fear, dissatisfaction, overcontrol, manipulation, and overcomplicating/overthinking. When I breathe in Source energy that takes the form of Light/Truth/Love then I’m anchored back into the only reality. The reality of unity. The reality of Love. The simplicity and peace. My soul is freed and renewed by knowing it’s held by it’s Creator.
“Eventually, you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is. The journey may take many lifetimes, but you will complete it. It is impossible not to complete it. It is not a question of if but of when. Every situation you create serves this purpose. Every experience you encounter serves this purpose.”
I find the more and more I journey within myself I notice the need for the unity of my Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine for balance. On my exterior I display that highest intention by having cultural masculine aspects in my fashion and hairstyle. I balance that with cultural feminine qualities with jewelry and makeup. It’s an outer prayer for these two to merge. Most days I’m running on the rim of a coin. The adage goes, “There’s always two sides to every coin.” I politely and passionately disagree. I live on the rim and run on that. For, it’s not impossible for a coin to move on it’s rim. It can balance the two sides as long as it keeps moving in one respect. The only force capable of keeping me running on the rim of balance is God/Love.
Keep running dear souls. We are One. We are held.
Loveistheonlyreality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.
Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.
Today I had dived into cooking an anti-inflammatory recipe. Why? Do you ask. Physically speaking I have a thyroid disorder and I thought eating this way may help. I have been meditating for several years. One way for me of meditating is doing the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 21 day Meditations. Deepak Chopra being an Endocrinologist had suggested in one of his meditations the benefits of anti-inflammatory foods. That had sparked my interests. I’ll list the link below for the most current (at this time) 21 day mediation. It has helped me so much in my growth. I have been working on mindfulness for more than a decade. For at the least two to three years I have been going beyond mindfulness and meditation and started the process of journeying. From my perspective and what I have learned so far is that journeying is meditating with a very specific goal in mind to access your higher self and guides. It may not be for everyone but it is for me. I have always been drawn to Shamanism and the depths—the belly if you will of God. Now, this is just one perspective on such a broad thing. Just like cooking spirituality has so many flavors and styles. With tastes and flavors it still accomplishes one thing. To be fed. To be the fuel.
From past experience I knew not to rush ahead and grab the ingredients and start. I read and reread the directions. Even during cooking I had to backtrack and see if what I read was correct. I was adding spices and cooking the meat. While mixing things together and trying to time things just right I kept wondering how it would turn out. In the past my anxiety would spike and I would be flattened out with this overwhelming sense of deficiency. In fact, I had cried while trying to measure because I wasn’t measuring up in my own eyes. I had thought I didn’t measure up in my husband’s eyes. I had thought how stupid I am that I can’t even cook for him. It became a spiral downward. I noticed that I wasn’t spiraling today. In fact, I kept on making magic with food. It awakened me to the notion that over the months and years I have become stronger. I kept on following the directions despite my apprehension. I wasn’t focused on how horrible I was. I was focused on the food and the process.
I have chosen not to have children. My two female cats are my children. I joked with them how popular I became once I brought out the chicken. The cat I have had longer is the most vocal. She had hopped on the chair pleading to have a bite. I reassured her that I would cook a plain portion of chicken just for them. I instantly thought how it’s kind of like heaven in my eyes. There is abundance to be had but it has to be filtered and processed before it can arrive. The order is in. My girls had to wait for their food. How often do we as humans plead when the Universe is cooking us up exactly what we want. (Or at least as close to it as possible.)
Some of you may be wondering how my dish turned out. Well, my Chicken Tika Masala with chickpeas tasted very good. However, I could have cooked the chickpeas longer. That was the only drawback. Instead of focusing how it wasn’t right. I just turned it around still acknowledging the error. I thought to myself how it added texture and crunch. It wasn’t all that bad. The beautiful thing about my husband is that he without missing an opportunity hugs me after every meal I cook. It doesn’t matter how fancy or ordinary. He knows a hug means so much. He knows holding me is practically like saving me and holding me together. That way of thanks creates a feeling of appreciation to me. Being acknowledged that way keeps me soaring. I am my own cheerleader of course but it’s nice to know that my partner in life appreciates all the effort that is put into presenting the fuel for our bodies. It’s also nice to know that Holy Spirit fuels us as well. Holy Spirit listens to us and delivers what we need and want. In fact, I was reflecting on the gratitude in my heart for the abundance of blessings I’m bestowed on a daily basis while walking to my car after work.
Remember, that we live in a beautiful world, take a closer look, open up your heart and trust.
References & Links:
Book: Clean Cuisine Cookbook: 130+ Anti-Inflammatory Recipes to Heal your Gut, Treat Autoimmune Conditions, and Optimize Your Health by Ivy Ingram Larson & Andrew Larson MD
I apologize for not being able to underline the book. I have yet to learn now to use all the features here.
“If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”
There are times I fantasize about a world where we can just telepathically know the essence of what someone is conveying to us. In some respects we do have that. Heartfelt intuition. However, the majority of our time at least for me it’s all the best possible guess. To truly see and know someone is rare especially when the knowing and seeing of self is a challenge.
Thankfully with technology we have the capability to silently have melding of the minds and hearts. Texting, instant messaging, sharing posts etc. The fault in written word is that sometimes you can’t hear the tone. Sound is so vitally important as well. As much as I crave peace and quiet in a very loud and chaotic world at times. Sound and vibration may have been around first. If you align with the Bible then you know God spoke. The Creator of all started with sound. It brought me to the idea of a fetus and a newborn baby. Essence and space is the majority as far as I have learned and like to accept. After a while the world conditions and a personality and life lessons start to mold the individual.
Babies feel first. We are in the body and that is all we know. Conscious thought emerge. Then our dance with the world around us starts.
To be able to record and capture all this with words and pair it with sound when read out loud is a blessing. The continual journey to be able to zoom into life and express it helps me dream and reach for the stars.
“Joy; the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.”
My journey with joy has been the friend that introduces me to other friends. It is the bridge from sorrow to fulfillment. It has a companion called gratitude. Our dear late Brother David Steindl-Rast created the site for grateful living.
“The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
This site has opened me up to the childlike wonder of the world around and within. Somehow the whole phrase to live with and without came to mind. To be able to embrace the loss as well welcome the abundance. You can truly find wholeness in both if you take a closer look. What is summer without the winter. What is winter without the summer. We need both the sun and the moon to live our lives. We can’t be awake all the time nor can we sleep the duration of our lives. It reminds me of the verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1-9.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
King James Version
To stay fully present in the now moment is nectar of life. To not look back in sorrow and not look ahead with fear. To be able to joyfully trust. Trusting in the Divine and receiving the joy that is there for the taking. We are allowed to be happy. We have full permission to be like a child again. It helps to see my Creator as a loving Mother/Father entity. For all around we see families. We are not meant here to be in our heads all the time and isolated. We are meant to share. Share our gratitude, joys, sorrows, rage, and feel free to move through the spectrum of emotions without judgement. If joy is an incubator what it’s producing may be strength. The have the endurance to live with all our personal power. To be able to trust in the supreme Power that generates all creation.
So, I encourage you to take your friends called joy, gratitude, trust, and strength. Know that you are very blessed and loved. Know that it all adds up no matter how absurd looking the equation.
When I think of the word detachment I initially feel like it’s a lonely word.
To be detached from an outcome. In my personal life that is so hard for me to do. Especially when you’re in the medical field. Performance and the accuracy of what you are doing is a matter of life or death for a patient. To have that spaciousness and calm seems like a major shift. To be able to do with the most force and focus and then let go. How beautiful. How freeing. In that moment of release there you can find your wings. The lightness of being comes into play and in turn the demeanor is like a pleasant aroma. Attracting more good and more support.
For me, a way of healing is knowing that I’m going into the storm. Having my wings spread out and taking flight with the wind as a major player in my adventure. The wings are my faith and effort. The wind is the situation itself. The situation is always going to be the right one. No matter how my human mind perceives it. If I perceive it to be wrong Creator may perceive it to be perfect because Creator is perfect. It’s like the joke of why worry that I heard at Unity. In a nutshell. If it worked out why worry? If it didn’t work out why worry? We can go through so much inner turmoil by worrying about the outcomes. Even worrying about the situation itself. How much energy and destruction can we save ourselves if we just let go. By worrying we are unnecessarily draining out the energy within and destroying our health. Our bodies listen to our thoughts and emotions. If you had a constant time keeper it would be the body. It records everything. High vibrations heal and renew while low ones destroy. How much more could we be if we stayed high vibrational?
So, my life long quest is not to worry about the situations and outcomes. My mission is to raise my frequency and be the healer. Healer of myself and those around me. To let go and become friendly with the practice of detachment.
When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, creeds, classes and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They shall be known as the warriors of the rainbow.
Some people are born with a certain degree of self knowing and connectedness. Some have used the term woke. For me, I believe every day is an awakening not just one time event. There have been many experiences that have triggered me to awaken more and more. Before I knew about rainbow warriors, light workers, starseeds and ascension I knew internally. I felt differently from the world around me. I have always gravitated towards angels and do believe that Arch Angel Gabriel has watched over me from the spark of my conception and will continue to watch over me. I also believe that Jesus is my way-shower and that he leads by example. So shall I. I feel comforted knowing that I can call on him to protect and guide me. I also feel a bond with Mary his mother. She is one of my guides as well.
Every day I call on them. I know that they blend perfectly with my spiritual path. My spiritual path is a blend of Native American Shamanism and Christianity. I can’t have one without the other and it is not at all in odds with each other. The respect for mother earth, Gaia, I believe Jesus taught as well. Not only to care for people around but where we live.
For God was pleased to have his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
We all are interconnected and like a rainbow we come with our unique spiritual signatures. Each signature comes with a vibration that could be likened to a color that falls in the spectrum of the rainbow. We are spirit incased in human form. We are light, sound, and flesh tethered to earth spinning in an infinite universe.
Daily I intend and do tune into the angelic nature of myself and also appreciate it in others. To be able to see people as earth angels, rainbow warriors, starseeds, children of God & Gaia helps me greatly to invite Love & Light in my life. My hope is to radiate that to others and share the abundance Creator has given. It all comes back to our Supreme Creator.
The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success.
Recently I have been meditating on the seeds I want to plant for this new year. The promise of spring is whispering in our ears. Even with the snow I know eventually it will melt and flowers will soon grow. During a ritual that was dedicated to the beginning of spring we focused on the seeds we want to plant. May it be one or several. One of mine that tied in nicely with a previous meditation is the seed of competence. I am moving forward not relying on the past to be my teacher but the present. There were many successes as well as failures in my past. What may seem negative or failure is actually the soil that my seed grows in. I bow my head in gratitude.
“I am capable.”
I am capable of confidence.
I am capable of joy.
I am capable of unconditional love.
So many additions to this sentence of being capable. That is exactly why I chose it. Knowing this one seed will sprout a tree that will bear even more seeds.