Processing Grief

More than a month ago my aunt passed away. I have been processing my grief with a counselor. I didn’t talk to my aunt as often as I feel like I should have. Before she passed she reassured me that it was okay that I didn’t keep in touch that often. She understood that I was busy. As an adult I have come to realize that I like my solitude. I enjoy my own company and don’t really have much to say when I am in a conversation. There are few people who can keep me talking. Off the top of my head I can only count two people that can keep me talking and that I feel 100% comfortable doing so. You can see why keeping in contact was difficult for me.

My aunt was a generous woman. She was generous with her time. She volunteered her time to the church. She loved babies. She would volunteer to take care of the babies in the nursery while service was performed. She also was a great listener. She had really good advice. I remember going to her for wisdom. She was also a very strong Christian. She would encourage me in my walk with Christ. We had a few Bible studies together. We also connected in the fact that cooking wasn’t really our thing. I felt a great sense of relief to hear that from her when I first got married. I had this notion that I should enjoy cooking and that I should be the one to cook. Once I started to realize that it takes two people to cook and that I didn’t have to enjoy it I felt a sense of freedom.

Her memorial service went well. It helped give me a sense of closure. I wore her favorite color. Yellow. I saw old friends of the family come to support us. It was nice to see so many people show up to show their respects to her and our family.

I’m allowing myself to feel all the feelings that I have surrounding her death. I am grateful that I have uncomplicated grief. I had said everything that I needed to say to her before she passed. I also was able to hear her concerns before she died. We always had a good relationship. Knowing that helps me with my grief.

I will always remember her and will honor her memory. It will be an easy date to remember when she passed. The day after Valentine’s Day. I wish you reader well when grief knocks on your door.

“Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.”

-Raven Reina

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